When I got in from work this afternoon, a package was waiting for me on the kitchen counter. I instantly knew what it was. My race packet from SCM. I had forgotten it was even coming. I checked the return address to be sure, then opened it up. I am happy to report that not one tear fell. I'm ok.
I'm fairly certain that the reason this is so, is because I talked with Bill B about his race there and got to live vicariously through him. I also have matured a great deal since I pitched that fit when I had to drop out of that marathon. I've grown up I guess.
In all seriousness, I have come to realize something about my running. I started running because I had been pretty sick for a while and needed to gain back some strength. I'd felt so out of control of my own body for so long that reaching the goal of finishing the Sarasota Marathon meant maybe I could take back that control. Making a goal and seeing it through was so very empowering! Running across the finish line that day set me on a very specific road. Until today, I thought that road was "just" about running, but it wasn't. I think the reason I was so upset about not being able to run Space Coast was because I felt like I was giving up, even though I was injured. Didn't really matter the reason, I was angry about not being able to see that goal through.
During the time I couldn't run, I felt sad, but not for the reasons I expected. I was missing the Endurance team meetings/runs. I never missed one, not even when I was sick. I asked Jim, my coach, if I could help coach Runners Club under his supervision and he agreed. He has given me direction and guidance all along but has let me do all the runs. This gave me the opportunity to meet some newer runners and slowly get back into healthy running again. I've met some new people who have similar goals and I'm having a GREAT time! I love the social part of running. The races, training runs and just talking about all of it makes me very happy. The people I run with from Runners Club are very positive and energized about training. When I see and hear the excitement I can actually FEEL it. These moments are just as important to me as running across a finish line.
Running that 5K Saturday, in the freezing cold and wind, was fun. I was happy as I tried to push through that wind. My knee was protesting now and again, but I thought of Sherry, Scott and Sondra who I would never have met if not for running. I thought of Ed and Joan, who are very important to me. I thought of my coach, who gave me the attitude of how to enjoy running. Bob and Carol, who are also special people....there are just too many to mention, but you all know who you are. I thought of my husband Bobby, who at first laughed when I told him I was going to run a marathon but now tells me how proud he is of my accomplishments.
All of these things take the pang of dropping out of SCM.
That being said....I hope I kick Sherry's ass in that triathlon in April!!! LOL (luv ya Sherry!!!)