I Got Some News...

Went to see the neurologist (Dr L) Friday morning. Got some answers. One was not surprising, one was kinda discouraging, the other was very upsetting. Here they are, in said order:

1. Complex seizures, which I suspected anyway and my family doctor (Dr R) had already called me into his office last week to deliver this news. Back on seizure meds...so be it. Been there, done that. (got no t-shirt)

2. Poly-neuropathy, which I also knew from that visit with Dr R, so no surprise. Dr R told me it was not something that would go away but that I'd get used to it. He said running will not make it worse, but the pain was here to stay. Sucks, but I liked that he didn't say no running. Being an endurance runner, overcoming pain is what it's all about. NNNNext!!

3. Muscle cramping. This was the biggie. This is very painful and together with the imbalance was stopping me from running. Dr L told me he was still testing to figure this one out, but that he didn't think any of the 3 were related.

Here's the upsetting part. He told me to go to the track and instead of running on the line, to have my feet land on either side of the line. Yeah. Like a gorilla. SEXY!!!! But that's not even the insulting part. When I started to cry (both from fear and anger) he looked me in the eye and asked me if I got paid to run. I said no. Then he shrugged his shoulders. He dismissed all my goals in that instant. Like they didn't matter.

He doesn't know me very well, does he???

Anyway, he gave me anti-seizure meds that have a pretty cool side effect: helps neuropathy while it's controlling the seizures. Nice. Seems that the type of seizures I have make me forgetful, confused and tired. Like Alzheimer's. Seriously. Many times I thought I was going crazy, so I'm happy with this getting fixed/controlled.

He gave me meds to help me sleep which also contain a muscle relaxer. He hoped that would help with the cramping. He also told me to take potassium once a day and to drink quinine water. I couldn't find that anywhere. I saw Jim at the gym and he told me it's in tonic water. I went and got that. Diet tonic with quinine. Oh yumminess. It tastes like I chewed an aspirin. BOGUS. Oh, Dr L also told me to forget the bananas and drink tomato juice. It has way more potassium in it! YAY!! I don't really like bananas anyway, but I L-O-V-E tomato juice. I mix the tonic with the juice and I have a virgin bloody mary. Which is good, because I cannot have beer while I'm on seizure meds! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll move on.

Now here's some miraculous news:

I took all the pills/juice/quinine/(oh, and I took it upon myself to get some B-12) throughout the day. Went to bed at 11pm. Woke up, and here's where the miracle comes in. *giggling*

I woke up at 8:15am, not 5am. I woke up naturally, not because my feet and legs were cramping. At first I thought I must be paralyzed so I woke my husband. I got out of bed and walked and my legs felt like they were a part of me again. Yes, my feet were tender, tingly and numb...but my legs felt wonderful! I couldn't believe it! I still can't. So I called my friend Mike, knower-of-lotsa-stuff. I told him all of this and asked him if potassium worked that quickly and he said YES! It's fast acting. Also, the fact that the meds I'm on have muscle relaxers and side effects that help neuropathy probably are a plus! OH YAY!!! We promptly set up a time to meet at the gym this afternoon for a little run. *Running report tomorrow*

Sooo...tonight, I feel like myself again. Which ever thing is helping me, I don't know...probably a mix of all of it together. I feel so good! My eyes feel better, clearer. My crampy legs are 85% better. Feels like a gauzy veil has been lifted from my body. Bobby said I'm back to my old self.

And I'll give y'all one guess as to what I'll be doing February 15th......first correct guess gets a custom made lil something from Kim's In Stitches. Ooooohhhh....lucky...LOL

Freezing Here In Florida (updated)

This post has been removed by the author on the grounds it was misrepresenting her true feelings. (kinda...HA)

My previous post (that I'm editing now) was horrible. I'm ready to be me again.

Thanks for the kind words, it helped...A LOT!

Now here's a funny little thing that happened just this morning:

My daughter, Emily who is eleven (magical age) is a slowwwww poke in the morning. I must repeat myself 50 times coaxing her to get ready for school. This morning I said, exasperated-like..."Em, why can't you move a little quicker?????"

She looked at me and said matter-of-factly..."Because Kirstin dropped me on my head when I was a baby."

Which is true. Emily was about 5 months old, Kirstin was 9 years old when that happened. She never even cried. But it's true just the same.

Now this is not as funny as the vagina chronicles but proof that our kids are punny.

Gotta love 'em!!!

Hey...GQ tagged me!!

I was sitting here, finally getting a free moment to read my favorite blogger when I felt an unmistakable hand on my...ummmmm...shoulder. TAGGED!! This should be fun!

your 4 favorite memories from 2008

1. When my son told me he was going to get a tattoo on his arm when he turned 18 that says "Momma's Boy". He was eight, and I got that in writing....LOL
2. Over hearing my two daughters, 19 and 22 at the time, talking about how lucky they were to have us as parents. I cried and ran into the room to hug them.
3. Having a hysterectomy in 2006. I know it was 2 years before this timeline, but I'm still overjoyed with this permanent form of birth control. I hope it's permanent anyway. Can a fetus hook onto my vaginal walls and survive for 9 months???? If they can, I will be prego soon.
4. Running the Sarasota Grouper Run Marathon. What a phenomenal feeling, crossing that finish line!

your 4 favorite movies watched in 2008

1. "Overboard". I love that movie. Goldie Hawn and Kirt Russell R-O-C-K!!!!
2. "Grease". I love that movie too.
3. "Spiderwick Chronicles". I loved the little fairies.
4. Ok, ya got me. I don't sit long enough to watch movies.

4 of your favorite foods in 2008

1. LOBSTER
2. pasta
3. potato chips.
4. cheesecake

4 places you loved in 2008 (if the "love" gets past second base, include pictures)

1. I love living in SW Florida. First time I ever felt like I was "home".
2. St Armand's, Sarasota. My husband and I have gone there for a weekend alone for a couple years now. The hotel is so nice....lol.
3. Crow's Nest Restaurant with my husband and my in-laws. We hadn't seen them in a while and it was so nice for the 4 of us to get out without the kids and visit. I'm so lucky to be a part of this family.
4. The finish line at the Sarasota Grouper Run Marathon. If it hadn't miraculously appeared when it did I would've died.

4 events you loved in 2008 (ditto)

1. My daughter, Kirstin is having a baby. We found out in November. I'm going to be a Grandma! 2. My first marathon: Sarasota Grouper Run
3. Endurance Project for the FCA Half Marathon! That was so fun!!
4. Heard my friend (and coach) perform some of his original songs live.

4 things you liked in 2008

1. My jaccuzzi
2. Going to the beach while the norther parts of the world were covered in ice and snow.
3. Running with some very special people I can call my friends. I love them all, very much.
4. Writing my blog and meeting some really wonderful people. Funny, supportive, and very special. You all have a spot in my heart.

4 things you are looking forward to in 2009

1. Re-learning how to run, now that my feet and legs have decided to NOT cooperate. No biggie...I've overcome worse.
2. Celebrating the 22nd anniversary of my daughter, Kerri's liver transplant. Doctors gave her 8 years. She'll be 23 July 23rd. Yes, a huge success!! (love you Kerri!!!!) If you guessed this was an answer to number 1...YOU ARE CORRECT!
3. My 13 year wedding anniversary with Bobby. We met 16 years ago and he's the luckiest man I know! LOL...just kiddin'...I'm the lucky one!
4. Holding my very first grandbaby. We don't know if we're getting a boy or a girl, and we don't care. I cannot wait to see this baby, kiss and hug and whisper how much I loved him or her before they were even born. Oh...and seeing my very spirited daughter have a child JUST LIKE HER! LOL

4 people you tag

Sherry...because she my real life friend who I met here in blogland! Luv ya girl!!!
Melanie...becaue I love Canadians!! And because she is an inspiration to so many!
Steve...because he's my Bostonian Brutha!!!
Danielle/Joe...because once I figured out they were not one and the same, I was almost disappointed!!! LOL

Sarasota Grouper Run

Boca Grande, Florida

This marathon is coming up in 34 days. I have a spot in my heart for this race because it was the first (and only) marathon I ever did. I had my heart set on running it every year but with my legs having a mind of their own these last few months, I gave up on even running the half. After having to drop out of The Space Coast marathon last November, I really didn't want to sign up for Sarasota unless I knew in my soul I could do it. My training has pretty much sucked beyond reason so I had given up on running any decent distances.

Well I have changed my mind.

I found out some part of what's been happening last Friday. The rest will take a few more tests but the doctor said we might never get all the answers. There's some complex seizures, polyneuropathy and although my brain sends out commands to my body, my body won't return the phone call. The sensory response team is away from the desk, the lazy ass bratties! The leg muscle cramping and weakness are undiagnosed right now, and maybe forever, but my doctor said running WILL NOT MAKE THINGS WORSE!! Music to my ears! He said I will eventually get used to the numbness, tingles and pain and I need to learn to run through that. When I looked at him like he had 6 heads he said yes, this is a "forever" thing. Won't go away.

That kinda bites. But ok.

So I headed out to Boca Grande on Saturday. My friend (and coach) Jim, his wife and more friends were running their 20 miler. (oh the agony of knowing how far into training I should be!!) As I took my sweatshirt off, I also left behind my "pity party" feelings. My pink NE Patriots sweatshirt soaked them up and whispered "just enjoy this run". I can do that, I whispered back.

I came into the run 2 hours later than everyone since I was only looking for a 5 miler. As I walked to the corner wondering how far away they all were, a flash of red went whizzing by...it was Jim! Perfect timing! I fell into step for about a mile or so before he went back to his pace. I turned up my iPod and tried to take in all the beauty of Boca Grande. That's impossible, beauty is everywhere!

As I eased into the second mile I felt my cardio kick in, I was warmed up fairly quickly. Good, good. I felt strong. At the end of the 2nd mile, my feet were getting tingly and numb. Nothing new, been ignoring that for months. Then the muscle fatigue started. The mild cramping and shots of pain made it feel like I was on mile 10, not 3. This is where I usually stop running because I didn't know what was going on, but this time I persisted. The doctor said it won't make anything worse so I threw all thoughts aside and kept going.

Jim had turned around somewhere up ahead and was running toward me by now so I turned as he came by and ran beside him. We were at about 9.5 minute pace. Me at my 3rd mile, him at his 14th. As we ran he was giving me tips on "when" I run the Sarasota half this Feb. At first I was speechless. He knows I haven't been running and why. My heart did a little flip. Was he serious or just being nice? He knows how I feel about Sarasota and how bummed I've been. He also tells it like it is. I know this very well. I trust his judgement but ???????????

So I asked him if he really thought I could do it. He pointed out that my cardio was fine. I hadn't lost that. I looked at my Garmin and saw we were running a 9 minute pace and I was talking. My legs were numb at this point, so I had run through the weirdness. My heart rate was comfortable. I was doing the distance rate I was at last summer. Jim said to go into the half with the thought of it being a fun run. No goals, no worries about speed or finish time. To just do it. I thought about all of this while I was ending my 5 miles.

Jim continued on to finish his 20 miles, I went back to the inn where Jim and Bethany were staying to sit by the pool. My feet were getting those stabbing shots up through my lower legs by this time so I dropped my legs into the pool. I noticed the water didn't seem too cold but after 15 minutes or so the freezing water brought some feeling back. The stabbing pains were slight, much better than lately. I'm going to try this again next time I run.

Once everyone got back to the inn, I congratulated them and smiled when they went looking for the Bio Freeze....lol. I know that even though they were sore, they were feeling very accomplished and satisfied. A small shot of envy passed through me but then I remembered Jim telling me I could do the half.

Sometimes that's all a person needs. For another person to tell them they believe in your abilities. Takes away the fear of failure when someone you trust, who is in a position to KNOW tells you YOU CAN. When I got home, I told my husband that Jim said I had it in me to finish the half marathon. Then my husband said something so sweet. He said...

"If anyone can do it...YOU can."

OMG....I'm going to run that freakin' half marathon!