I Have Some News!

First of all...thank you so much for your kind comments and emails! The support that comes from all of you helps more than I can put into words! Thank you, thank you!! xoxoxoxoxoxo

Ok...Dr K from Tampa called me yesterday to let me know I DO NOT HAVE MS! Oh happiness!!! My EEG stuff all looked great, so the Lyrica is doing it's job. The last 5-6 weeks of headaches/vomiting etc was from the spinal tap. Dr K said that headachy people do not do well with spinal taps. I coulda used that little gem of information, I'll tell ya. I honestly thought I was dying. Even had my funeral music picked out on a playlist in iTunes. No kidding. Ok, I'm kidding. I'm not that gruesome. Hardly.

The MRI showed a past bleed or enlarged artery deep inside my brain. Doc says it's old and healed and there's really no way to tell when it happened or if it's the cause of my seizures. He said he's pretty sure it shouldn't be a problem for the future but it's something to remember if I ever get a blinding headache. Ok...noted!!!

So what's the problem with my muscles??? He's not sure as he's an MS expert, but he did say it could be metabolic. He mentioned I probably won't be running any more marathons. Oh...yes...he...did..say...that!!!! He doesn't know me too well, now does he??? I actually laughed on the phone when he said that! He laughed and said ok, but he didn't reccommend me doing a tri because of the swimming. Which at first I didn't let register, but my husband says he probably thought it wouldn't be good if I was out doing a 2 mile swim and my muscles decided to quit on me. Being out swimming wouldn't be an ideal place for THAT to happen. As I've never had the urge to be shark bait, I won't worry about that.

Me being me and having major access to Google...I perused the buffet of medical problems and found something I could use. (LOL) There's a metabolic "thing" called "McArdle's Disease" that fits my pain-in-the-ass (and legs) symptoms. While I am not convinced of anything until I see my Doc next week, I was surprised to see one thing that really stood out: "What Do Marathon Runners And McArdle's Disease Have In Common?" Turns out that they both have trouble with the glycogen "hitting the wall" thing. Which is how I feel after running a shorty these days! I went ahead and emailed Doc K in Tampa with my slueth-like findings. I will have an answer to this!!!

So anyway...I got the go ahead to start my training back up. I am going to go slow. I want to try a few things that I read about with the glycogen replenish stuff. Elizabeth (LIZ as I fondly call her) has been getting into this subject and I will be gathering info from her. She has her wee little 16 miler planned this weekend. I figure 16 miles might be a tad too much for me right now, so I'm going to meet her there around 8am on my bike and then run the last couple miles with her.

Let the games (re) begin!!!!!

Hugs to all!!!!!!

Back To Running

First, thank you all for the tremendous caring and support you've given. It means the world to me. My family and friends, at home and here in blogland, you've helped me get my determination back. Thank you, thank you!

I ran today for the first time in 16 days! It's good to get that over with. Now I can stop worrying if it'll ever happen. I barely had any pain, which is nice. The weird thing was that I kept losing track of my feet/legs. It felt like they were not in sync with the rest of me. I finally did a 30 second walk to get my groove back but I think I'm running like I dance. A little O-F-F....lol

I did 3.1 in 30:31. No PR, but I will not be complaining today. I saw the doc Monday and he gave me a little something to help me "cope". And it's working BABAYYYYY! I was on the verge of freaking out. Ok, I was deeply into freaking out. Neck deep. It was a mistake to Google "MS". I promised myself not to do that anymore until I have a concrete diagnosis. Or until I think of something I need to check out about it. Which reminds me..............................just kidding!

I go for another MRI in the morning. My husband hates those. I think of them as a little vacation. Doesn't bother me at all.

Easter is Sunday. It's also my 13th wedding anniversary! We're having 14 people over. Reg is coming too! Reg leaves for Canada Monday. I thought it would be a great day for them to come hang out and have a nice visit before they leave. I am going to miss him. Reg and I have become very good friends. He'll be back in November and I'll be waiting with my Asics on!!!!!

Happy Easter everyone!!!!

Freezing Here In Florida (updated)

This post has been removed by the author on the grounds it was misrepresenting her true feelings. (kinda...HA)

My previous post (that I'm editing now) was horrible. I'm ready to be me again.

Thanks for the kind words, it helped...A LOT!

Now here's a funny little thing that happened just this morning:

My daughter, Emily who is eleven (magical age) is a slowwwww poke in the morning. I must repeat myself 50 times coaxing her to get ready for school. This morning I said, exasperated-like..."Em, why can't you move a little quicker?????"

She looked at me and said matter-of-factly..."Because Kirstin dropped me on my head when I was a baby."

Which is true. Emily was about 5 months old, Kirstin was 9 years old when that happened. She never even cried. But it's true just the same.

Now this is not as funny as the vagina chronicles but proof that our kids are punny.

Gotta love 'em!!!

Sarasota Grouper Run

Boca Grande, Florida

This marathon is coming up in 34 days. I have a spot in my heart for this race because it was the first (and only) marathon I ever did. I had my heart set on running it every year but with my legs having a mind of their own these last few months, I gave up on even running the half. After having to drop out of The Space Coast marathon last November, I really didn't want to sign up for Sarasota unless I knew in my soul I could do it. My training has pretty much sucked beyond reason so I had given up on running any decent distances.

Well I have changed my mind.

I found out some part of what's been happening last Friday. The rest will take a few more tests but the doctor said we might never get all the answers. There's some complex seizures, polyneuropathy and although my brain sends out commands to my body, my body won't return the phone call. The sensory response team is away from the desk, the lazy ass bratties! The leg muscle cramping and weakness are undiagnosed right now, and maybe forever, but my doctor said running WILL NOT MAKE THINGS WORSE!! Music to my ears! He said I will eventually get used to the numbness, tingles and pain and I need to learn to run through that. When I looked at him like he had 6 heads he said yes, this is a "forever" thing. Won't go away.

That kinda bites. But ok.

So I headed out to Boca Grande on Saturday. My friend (and coach) Jim, his wife and more friends were running their 20 miler. (oh the agony of knowing how far into training I should be!!) As I took my sweatshirt off, I also left behind my "pity party" feelings. My pink NE Patriots sweatshirt soaked them up and whispered "just enjoy this run". I can do that, I whispered back.

I came into the run 2 hours later than everyone since I was only looking for a 5 miler. As I walked to the corner wondering how far away they all were, a flash of red went whizzing by...it was Jim! Perfect timing! I fell into step for about a mile or so before he went back to his pace. I turned up my iPod and tried to take in all the beauty of Boca Grande. That's impossible, beauty is everywhere!

As I eased into the second mile I felt my cardio kick in, I was warmed up fairly quickly. Good, good. I felt strong. At the end of the 2nd mile, my feet were getting tingly and numb. Nothing new, been ignoring that for months. Then the muscle fatigue started. The mild cramping and shots of pain made it feel like I was on mile 10, not 3. This is where I usually stop running because I didn't know what was going on, but this time I persisted. The doctor said it won't make anything worse so I threw all thoughts aside and kept going.

Jim had turned around somewhere up ahead and was running toward me by now so I turned as he came by and ran beside him. We were at about 9.5 minute pace. Me at my 3rd mile, him at his 14th. As we ran he was giving me tips on "when" I run the Sarasota half this Feb. At first I was speechless. He knows I haven't been running and why. My heart did a little flip. Was he serious or just being nice? He knows how I feel about Sarasota and how bummed I've been. He also tells it like it is. I know this very well. I trust his judgement but ???????????

So I asked him if he really thought I could do it. He pointed out that my cardio was fine. I hadn't lost that. I looked at my Garmin and saw we were running a 9 minute pace and I was talking. My legs were numb at this point, so I had run through the weirdness. My heart rate was comfortable. I was doing the distance rate I was at last summer. Jim said to go into the half with the thought of it being a fun run. No goals, no worries about speed or finish time. To just do it. I thought about all of this while I was ending my 5 miles.

Jim continued on to finish his 20 miles, I went back to the inn where Jim and Bethany were staying to sit by the pool. My feet were getting those stabbing shots up through my lower legs by this time so I dropped my legs into the pool. I noticed the water didn't seem too cold but after 15 minutes or so the freezing water brought some feeling back. The stabbing pains were slight, much better than lately. I'm going to try this again next time I run.

Once everyone got back to the inn, I congratulated them and smiled when they went looking for the Bio Freeze....lol. I know that even though they were sore, they were feeling very accomplished and satisfied. A small shot of envy passed through me but then I remembered Jim telling me I could do the half.

Sometimes that's all a person needs. For another person to tell them they believe in your abilities. Takes away the fear of failure when someone you trust, who is in a position to KNOW tells you YOU CAN. When I got home, I told my husband that Jim said I had it in me to finish the half marathon. Then my husband said something so sweet. He said...

"If anyone can do it...YOU can."

OMG....I'm going to run that freakin' half marathon!

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!!!!

I ran today! I'm sooo happy!!

I met Chris, Jim and Maria at the gym this morning. I wasn't too sure if I'd do the whole 6.5 miles but I really needed to give it a shot. I hadn't run for 2 weeks because I was still sore from falling and also the stress of waiting for some answers from the doctor was getting me down. I went from completely ignoring aches/pains to totally concentrating on them and I was becoming a freak.

I'm going back to ignoring them.

So we decided to do the same route we did for the Firecracker 5K last July. Twice plus a little longer to make it 6.5. Maria took off like the mad woman she is (yes, I am jealous), the 3 of us started out slow. This was my 1st time out in 2 weeks and I felt FREE! The weather was perfect. 68 degress and breezy. Gotta love Florida!

I went back and forth from running with Maria and then the guys. Me and Maria talked about our husbands, our lives....ya know, girlie stuff. then she'd move on and I'd wind up back with the guys. They'd be spitting and talking about the logistics of running a marathon etc. I got a kick out of that....LOL. These are grown men. Sigh. (I loved it) Especially when Jim said he could spit on a fence and leave it hanging there 4-EVA! Yummy stuff...ha!!

We finished the run in about an hour, I am pleased. I called my husband on my way home and he was about to go for a bike ride. I was all fired up and told him to wait for me. Unfortunately by the time I walked into the house it felt like needles were sticking into the bottoms of my feet and my legs were cramping. So I'm here posting on my blog instead. But my husband looks H-O-T in those bike shorts...teehee...

Wait...did you hear that? It's the hot tub calling my name!! Gotta go for now!

Wednesday Is THE Big Day

I'm going to run tomorrow. Instead of the thrill, the excitement, I'm feeling kinda....nervous! I haven't run for 12 days. I have tried to rest the knee and let it heal. I still did my classes, even spin. I should admit my knee felt tender at the last spin class (along with another part of me that should NEVER feel tender) so I kept it a little less ferocious than the others in the class.

Tomorrow I'll just take it easy. Keep a slow pace, do some walk/running. Enjoy the nature and the company. We have a new runner who joined our Running Club. Jim ran with him last week, (I had to go home because I thought I was getting the flu)...(but it wasn't the flu)...(so I missed Runners Club)...(but I wasn't feeling well anyway) ANYWAY...Jim ran with Chris and told me he was doing awesome! Chris is training for his very first half marathon! Just between me and you Blogger-friends...I'd be very curious to see how he feels after running 10 miles. That was the distance I came away from KNOWING I was going to do a full marathon. Out of 15 of the Endurance Project team members, I think Bobby was the only one who got that too. By our 10 mile training run, his wife, Michelle said he was taping the full marathon map of the Sarasota Grouper Marathon to his fridge...LOL..Bobby is going to teach me to dive and swim, incidentally.

I'm so wicked tired. I'll post after running tomorrow.

To all my hurting, injured running friends, please feel better soon. Rest up and be strong for the next run. We need to take care of ourselves so we can do this crazy thing we love so much.

Namaste!!!!

Looking Inside My Heart

Ya know what? I'm all done with feeling sad about the Space Coast marathon. It's just one race. I will run it next year and probably do better than I would have this year anyway.

Here are a few positive things about running for me to concentrate on...

The weather is GREAT right now for running.
I have some awesome runner friends.
I have some awesome Blogger friends.
My knee is improving, just slowly.
I'm due for new Asics.
I have a new Garmin.
I got my hydrating issues all figured out and no longer "christen" finish lines.
I managed to shave my 5K, even in this Florida summer heat.
I'm a motivational running coach, LOVE that.
I am healthier than I have ever been in my life.
I have run a marathon, so I know I CAN.

Personally, I am in a happy, loving marriage. All of my kids are happy and healthy. I have a job (3 actually), and I'm wearing my pink New England Patriots hoodie. (Ha)

Can it REALLY get any better than THAT without hitting the lottery???